I have just recorded a meditation to release stress and realised that I needed it for myself too! As it took an hour of very precious pre-Christmas time to get the charger on my ipad to work and only after three false starts did it start to work. When you are faced with any obstacles you can be sure that they reflect some inner resistance of your own. So the path will only clear and become synchronous with your wishes if you acknowledge the resistance within. There are a number of thought forms that occur, especially for women, in the lead up to any festive time that cause us problems, create resistance and attract the wrong sort of energy and the wrong sort of situations like faulty chargers!
Here are some of the negative beliefs that can cause chaos to your plans and are sure to magnify your stress:
You are the only one who can do the jobs properly
If there is any sense of being a perfectionist in you then you will realise how difficult this makes your life in general. I hear women snapping at their husbands all around me in the lead up to Christmas – the tension is palpable and I think “shouldn’t they be having fun shopping together getting in the extras and the presents?” If you hear yourself snapping at your family just remember this is meant to be fun!!!
You have to do everything on your to do list
In the past I was very bad at delegating chores and house tasks but I learnt that when I include the family then the energy becomes inclusive and we have more fun. I don’t get resentful and they feel useful. I promise you it works. Try not to look over their shoulders and criticise their efforts. This year I have a very tight schedule to organise all our parties and events before Christmas, the present shopping, the food shopping, decorating the house etc. So I have asked for help from Tony, my husband and yesterday we spent the afternoon together writing the cards. It was great – we chatted about the people we were writing to and time flew past and the job turned into a pleasant afternoon sharing. Why did I have to get to this age to discover this? Ha ha.
You have to make it all yourself
One of my friends was sharing her experience of the “worst Christmas”. She and her husband had been invited with 5 other couples to share a Christmas as a house party. The hostess was determined to impress and had decided that everything was going to be made from scratch and that all the ladies would be in the kitchen to help. But they were not Mary Berry and Gordon Ramsay and they didn’t have a team of sous chefs clearing up after them. They spent the entire Christmas day stressing, getting hot (it was in the Far East) and by the time the meal hit the table my friend was totally exhausted. The meal was eaten within an hour and the men were drunk by then anyway!!! In the past I too have felt authentic and home-made was the best approach no matter how tired I was but now my philosophy is to find the simple route and be able to share it with a smile and not the demented grin of the overtired and overstressed hostess.
It’s your responsibility to make your family happy
You can’t make anyone happy – you can provide the environment, the love and the attention but you cannot get inside anyone and turn on the happy switch. If you pick this up as a commitment or responsibility you will fail and you will feel miserable yourself. The best way to encourage others into a happy state is to be happy yourself. Put down the burden of making others happy – even and especially your family!
Make your plans, write your lists then do your best but keep in mind that this is not a serious business and take time out to have fun. Be like the children I saw in a park in Tokyo – just have fun and live in the moment. Take every opportunity to laugh – making mistakes is a great chance to turn the seriousness around to laugh. Remember that this is a time of sharing – the chores, the experience as well as the gifts!
Have a great Christmas wherever you are. I am setting my intentions to get through without stress, without being overwhelmed, overtired and to enjoy the whole experience. Michael Buble will be put on right now – Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas!