Living a more spiritual existence, being pure and all the things recommended to assist you to do that is, in my belief, absolutely right. There are so many articles, blogs, quotes and inspirational things to prod us in the right direction, to help lift our spirits and to keep moving us forward on this journey we call life.
Even the most non-spiritual person can find it hard to avoid now the huge range of ways that these messages are getting through, marketing gimmicks have cottoned on to this angle too and so it is in the faces of most people in some way now.
Most guidance that you will find advises to love yourself, forgive – yourself and others, breathe, let go, accept – again, yourself and others, move on, be free, focus on the the positive and be grateful. All of which are perfectly true, these things DO need to be done in order to move forward and past emotional happenings in our life that were out of our control, doing all of these truly does help and does change things. But….
What about when we feel so cross that we do not want to Keep calm and eat cake? What about when we do not want to forgive in order to set ourselves free because we are so cross with the big meanie that upset us? What about when we want to hurl someone off a bridge or hit them with a frying pan or do something dramatic in order to show the world just how bloody cross we are? These are the raw and real emotions that are created from life events and NO, you should not try to push those feelings away when they are there, you need to let them out, not push them in by trying to convince yourself that you feel grateful for someone’s horrid behaviour – that feeling will come but not when you are in the raw emotion of something.
Being angry is normally looked upon as a negative emotion, particularly when you are trying to live a “spiritual life”. But anger is a natural and normal emotion and releasing – finding some way to let it out – is essential, emotions do not just go away by being sprinkled with a spot of positivity, they are tempered maybe, but the root of that is still there. Anger can be a hugely helpful emotion when used in a positive way, turn it into passion, the two emotions of course have a very hazy line between them. Passion often comes from anger and without passion, not much changes, when there is no drive to change things then things just stay the same. But what if we cannot quite get our passion to connect with our anger and be directed into something positive? What if we are simply just so cross that only stamping our feet or bopping someone on the nose will do?
First thing – DO NOT BE ANGRY WITH YOURSELF FOR FEELING ANGRY – just because you are trying to live a spiritual life does not mean you do not have human emotions, you are quite “normal” to feel these things, so give yourself a break! Then, get it out, deal with it in a way that releases it from you and does not harm anyone else, try some of these the next time you feel full of rage –
Stomping – Going for a stomp in the woods and fields helps. As you stomp (like a stroppy toddler) imagine that all that pent up rage and frustration is coming out through your feet and being passed to the earth, if it helps, see it as red light pouring out through your feet into the earth. The earth will transform it into postive energy – before you get all worried about what you might be doing to the earth – never doubt the power of mother nature to transform dark into light.
Writing and burning – This is just the best!! Write a letter, you can write it in any way you choose, you do not have to write a polite “Dear Bank Manager you really made me rather cross today” or “Dear Person who just broke my heart, I feel quite unhappy with you” kind of letter, NO, write exactly what you want to say, warts and all, throwing in a few choice swear words makes it even better! Write down everything you feel, even if you feel ashamed of those things, write them down as you do not want them whirling around your head forever. When you have finished writing, take the paper outside and burn it (somewhere safe, try not to involve the fire brigade in your anger releasing…) As the paper burns, just know that all that negative crossness is leaving and will be turned to light, gone, poof, in a big puff of smoke. You can repeat this as often as you like and whenever the need arises.
Pillow Thumping – An oldie but a goodie, beating the crap out of a pillow whilst shouting (maybe put some loud music on for that one) is another brilliant way of getting rid of rage and frustration (try and ensure there is no head sleeping on the pillow at the time!).
Recycle! – Yep, go to the bottle bank, this is always a winner!! A perfectly safe way of smashing bottles, making a lot of rowdy noise and getting it out. Hurling bottles into the big recyling containers is so good, try it!!
Hoovering – This was explained to me by a darling old lady who had the sweetest, poshest voice, it was quite a shock to hear her tell me this! Put the hoover on, whilst you are hoovering, you can swear, very loudly, at whoever you like cos they cannot hear you!! I did try it. I had been really upset by someone so I got the hoover out (my carpet was quite grateful as this is a rare happening) and proceeded to say f**k you, very loudly. I got quite into it and found it massively releasing but then, I started to realise just how hilarious this was. I ended up laughing my head off so much I had tears rolling down my cheeks – hey, laughing or crying, either way is letting it go.
You may find other ways to release your anger, as long as it does not involve hurting anyone then do it! Hurting others with your angry words and emotional state can quite often lead to guilt and you do not need to add guilt to the list of emotions… Shouting and screaming at others generally does not get you very far. Taking action to release your feelings safely should then leave you in a position of being able to forgive but of course not forget. The not forgetting is the bit you can then link to your passion, then you have the drive and energy to make the changes you wish for, then you can divert that anger into passion and go out there and do something positive and amazing with it! So, be pure, be who you are, and if feeling angry is part of who you are right at that moment in time then you are being pure, you are being true to yourself and believe me, there is nothing wrong with that.