Dealing with difficult questions like “What do you really want to do?”
On the face of it this should be the easiest question in the world to answer! What do you want to do? I asked my granddaughter this question a while ago and she promptly broke into tears. “I don’t know” she wailed. Bless her – I had thought I was helping but instead I had pushed her into a corner. If I am honest questions along these lines can give me the wobbles at times too. Why? Because a lot of the time we do what we think we ought to do or what is expected of us.
When we are given free rein to express what our heart actually desires then old fears can come up. What if I choose the wrong thing? (As if there can be a wrong choice when it’s what you want!) What if it won’t actually make me happy? (As if there is no chance of changing direction once this choice is made!)
In my retreats I often end with these questions simply to show that you have a choice, that there is a measure of control over what happens to you in your life. You may decide that your love of your family precludes you going off on a five year travel plan or moving to another country. You may decide that an option of a new direction would cause a problem with your partner. That’s OK, you will always make your choice while looking at the bigger picture and the impact on loved ones (real impact not their own selfish wishes to have you close on tap for their own benefit). The desire to please your family is part of your heart’s desires after all.
Other questions I throw up are “Who do you think you are?”; “Do you know what your life purpose is?”; “Are you really following your soul purpose in a proactive way or are you living in a reactive way – responding to other people’s controls, demands and wishes or taking the reins of your life in your own hands.”
If you value yourself as a spiritual being with free will, you will see yourself as a self-responsible person who doesn’t rely entirely on others to make your decisions for you or to solve/fix your problems. Remember the challenges of life are your learning and growing opportunities so if someone else fixes them you retard your own spiritual growth and invite in more challenges till the lesson or self-responsibility is learnt.
So what can you do when the questions are difficult to answer, when your mind goes blank or you get feel fearful just from the question? Here are a few tips that I have used and shared with others.
- Give yourself a retreat, hibernation or at least some down time. Put a pause in your life and take time to live with just yourself or at least give yourself time to ponder and ask the questions.
- Listen to your own inner voice. The answers often come into your mind but are dismissed as fanciful or over ambitious.
- Listen to your body as it reacts to you expressing and thinking about options. I get an uneasy feeling like a little worm in my stomach when the option doesn’t really suit my spirit and a warm and expansive feeling in my heart centre when it feels right.
- Focus on your heart not your mind:
- Have paper and pen handy
- Take four deep breaths.
- Call in protection (call in the blue flame of Archangel Michael to seal your energy field)
- Ask your spiritual guidance to assist you
- Open your heart – use your hands in prayer in front of your chest to represent the doors of your heart then open them as a symbol of your intention to open your heart doors.
- Clasping your hands together raise them over your head three times to show you are connecting to your higher self (your spiritual intelligence and wisdom)
- Then ask the question
- Write down the first answer that comes into your mind
- Once you have some ideas then you can test them out on a friend or someone you trust not to laugh at your ideas – you need to be sure that they will support you. See how it feels when you express what you have decided to do.
After twenty years of working as a healer and author I decided to cut back my work commitments this year to give myself time to reassess, regenerate some energy and relax more. I have thoroughly enjoyed the change of pace and have managed to let go the sense of guilt that I am not working non-stop. Now I am getting geared up and I am now getting excited about new work and getting out and about speaking at different venues next year. To make sure that I get the right place and people I called a PR consultant who works with therapists and writers in the MBS field. One of the first things she asked me is to define my message and what I want to achieve. So now the shoe is on the other foot and I am doing what I suggest my clients and readers do! Did you say karma? Ha ha. So I am following my own advice and I have to say it is working – thank goodness. The answers are coming and I am about to sit down and re-write my mission statement.
You can use the above method for any decision making, not just the life changing ones, as it gives you the opportunity to go within and it gets you to focus on what your own heart and spirit needs.
Good luck – even if the answer doesn’t come immediately your intention to find the truth will set the process in motion and you will get the inspiration you need – very likely when you least expect it.
Big hugs and love