I am a Singaporean currently leaving in France. I met my wife 8 years ago. We got married on 19 Oct 2013. My wife is a French. Our marriage was greatly opposed by my wife’s parents especially her mother.
My son was born in France on 23 Jan 2015. During my wife pregnancy and after our son was born, there were some communication gaps between us. This is mainly due my wife’s emotions, my adjustment to parental life and our tight financial situation.
To improve our family’s financial stability and to relocate back to Singapore to start a fresh life for the family, my wife and myself decided that a career switch for me will be better. So in Mar 2015, I manage to get a job with a Singaporean company in France which will allow me to work in France for 2 years and then move back to Singapore with my family.
In October 2015 I left to Singapore for a week to complete the contractual papers. When u return home, I realised that my wife left the house with my son.
After my son was born, my wife became very close to her parents. Especially her mother. I speculate that the mother has instilled a form of fear in my wife’s mind that once we re-locate to Singapore, I can keep my son for myself and sent back my wife to France. My wife has triggered me some questions pertaining to this fear she has sometimes to me.
The whole incident was framed. She with the influence of her parents acted as though she was supporting my new career switch till the day I signed the contract. After I sign the contract things changed. They know that I need to leave France in 2 years time and therefore they can keep my son with them in France.
My love for my family is true. I want my wife and son back. I am unable to imagine a life without them. It has been a month and I already dead inside. My wife has already processed the divorce papers. I need this to be stopped immediately and I want my family back. I am strongly hoping my family will return to me within the next 2 weeks.
Bless you this is a very upsetting and difficult situation for you. I cannot influence the behaviour of your wife or her parents but there are things that you can do that may change the energy dynamics between you. I presume you have been telling your wife that you love and intend to support her, because women become very vulnerable when they are pregnant and when they have a small child. She is still feeling insecure and will need your love and support more now than ever. She is currently getting this support from her mother – and that is actually a very natural situation as a woman turns to her mother when she has a baby – for advice as well as emotional support. She will be wanting to be with her roots at this time. So you need to work hard to convince her that you love her and that you are there for her and your baby. Getting angry in any way at this time will be counter-productive and blaming her parents will definitely only alienate her.
So here are a few things you can do:
- As I said work hard to persuade your wife that you are a rock she can rely on, that you love and you are going to be there for her in the long run as security for her and your child no matter which country you live in.
- Make sure that she is comfortable with the idea of living in Singapore – have you taken her there for a holiday yet?
- Keep your own mind as positive as possible and keep your mind clear of anger or blaming thoughts – to her, her parents or to yourself. You can do this by writing down all the negative thoughts that do come into your mind and then burning the paper as a way of clearing out the toxic energy. Focus on the good things in your life rather than allowing yourself to fear the worst.
- Many marriages go through a hiccup when financial challenges come in and you are both experiencing mega challenges at the moment. See the challenges as ways to learn more about yourself and dig deep within yourself for strength and courage to face whatever happens. Meditate and ask for spiritual help and guidance.
- See yourself cutting through the cords of any disagreements, negative thoughts and attitudes between you and your wife and her parents. This can help change the energy dynamic in your relationship and clear the way for positive communication.
- Really be careful about shouting, blaming or getting aggressive as this will damage your relationship further.
- Do the Morning Ritual youtube on my account AnneJonesHealer as this will help to keep you protected from their negative thoughts, open to love and connected to your own higher wisdom and guidance.
I am sending your positive and uplifting vibes and with you we will both visualise a positive outcome for you all.
Love and big hugs Anne xxxx