I noticed in my latest overseas visits that many of my clients either had husbands who beat them and or father’s who abuse their mothers. I have been pondering on this awful situation for some time now and I see that more and more articles are reaching the media and more and more women are bravely coming forward to tell all. India is one place where brave girls and women are either speaking out or are sacrificing themselves for this wounded energy to come to the surface to be healed. After suffering something for years an individual will one day decide that enough is enough and seek help and put out the intention that they will be healed either by a doctor or a healer. Similarly humanity is now deciding to bring this situation onto the table to be examined, looked into and resolved. Although I am appalled by these barbaric acts such as rape or domestic violence against defenceless women I see that we are in a time of change of consciousness so I have hope for the future and trust that eventually the deeper causes are resolved by individuals and society.
Before something can be healed it needs to be acknowledged, then understood and only then can the energy be shifted. Every wounding comes from an effort to learn something – not always consciously but at some level we hold the intention to expand our consciousness and spiritually grow through life lessons. The challenges that abused women are experiencing are part of this process of spiritual growth, although I doubt if they will be able to see this especially if the abuse continues throughout their lives. It’s usually after the event that we can get insights and the courage to change. I believe that the abuse is not only an individual learning experience but one for society as a whole. This subject of domestic abuse has been swept under the carpet and ignored by society for centuries and this is true of all countries, creeds and races. Women from all backgrounds come to me with this problem – it is truly widespread so it affects us all through our spiritual connection to each other!
So what is the underlying abuse? So what is the lesson here? What is the opportunity for change? I sense it has to do with the way the woman values herself. In most of the women I encounter the woman feels that she either deserves the treatment from her husband; feels inadequate to prevent it or that it’s OK behaviour and the natural way for a man to treat a woman! All these are issues of disempowerment; of a sense of low value and low self-worth resulting in a feeling of weakness where she loses the ability to choose a different situation. Often there are children involved and women will feel that they cannot put their children’s security at risk; they are held hostage by their sense of care and responsibility.
Ironically men who abuse women are using the violence as a way to claim more power energy for themselves; they too feel the lack of personal self worth and potency. There can be many reasons for this. One is the male expectation and desire for success and winning in a competitive world. When expectations either from self, family or society are not met then the man may feel a failure in his role and this makes him feel unfulfilled as a man – as himself. Ego, one’s sense of self, is important to most men and when this is affected adversely the result is often depression and a sense of weakness. The change of balance and devolution from the traditional role of a woman into a breadwinner means that for many men their expected role feels threatened. Some men find this fundamental shift very hard to accept especially in cultures where male dominance has become entrenched. A contributing factor is often alcohol for this may magnify any suppressed frustration and anger. Many of my clients say that their husbands or fathers only become violent when they have been drinking.
So both sides of this issue can come from lack of personal power. The men attack the women to feel strong and powerful and the women submit because they feel disempowered to change the situation.
What can you do to stop this abuse?
If you are affected by abuse you can start with the intention of releasing yourself from its grip on your life. Intention will kick start your free will which flows from your solar plexus. Look for help from charities that are set up to assist you. If you know of someone who is caught in the spell of dominance and fear you can send them your positive vibes by visualising them free. Consciousness changes when you change so you can work on valuing yourself, giving yourself the love you send to others, be grateful for your freedom and express your views gently and firmly – in other words utilise your personal power. As you value yourself by accepting yourself whole heartedly rather than constantly finding fault then your energy changes and this will ripple out and affect the rest of society. Little by little, step by step we can move together towards a world where we are all sure and happy with ourselves and the need for dominance and power stealing will no longer be necessary.
Love, hugs and blessings
There is more help with recovering your personal power in my book The Power of You and meditations on the CD.